Over the last few days, I have been trying to tell a friend of my sister’s that I won’t sew for her. She’s just not getting it. She, like many before her, thinks that having someone sew her wedding gown for her will be cheaper than buying one. I have told her over and over that I can not make anything that would fit her budget. I have even told her that she would have better luck finding a dress for $100-150 at any bridal store. She keeps coming back to me, saying the dress she wants is very simple and shouldn’t take too long to make. Finally, today, she sends me a link to a dress that she likes and hopes to get for a better price. The price was amazing! To make the same dress would cost double her budget in fabric alone. I’ve said as much to her. She doesn’t quite get it. I’m not sure what more I can say. I am a professional and I’m tired of not being treated as one. I’m sure she thinks having a friend’s sister sew it isn’t the same as going to a “real” seamstress. People just aren’t used to paying what things are really worth any more.
-
Flickr Photos
More Photos -
It’s a subtle request for a “discount”… I’ve seen it before.
The fact is, people outside your profession don’t know how to value the labor INSIDE your profession. I see it all the time.
Next time it happens, quote her a price, ask for money up front, and include the money it would take to bring you out of retirement.
You need to treat her in a totally businesslike fashion, and point out that she really COULD get it cheaper elsewhere.
Finally, she may find value in something handmade. The money may not be an issue. “My friend’s sister made this. Isn’t it wonderful?”
I totally understand where you are coming from with this. People often seem to assume that taking a picture is something I should be willing to do for free.
A good shoot though, can take an hour to three hours, takes at least a half hour of set up, knowledge of makeup, lighting, the use of several different kinds of equipment, and often, a little editing on the back end. I never mind doing trades with people, but like you, my time is worth money.
Sometimes I do work for free, but the work I do for free is always going to be work that I’m getting a kick out of doing, that will drive my career, or that is for someone I dearly love.
People should think about it as they are asking us to do their taxes.
I believe there isn’t as much value given to creative work. Good for you in standing your ground.
i’ve gotten the same thing in the website design business. In my case, along the lines of, “Oh my cousin can make me a web page for $50.” Well, knock yourselves out, sheesh.
The worst example was someone i agreed to contract for, who made a big point about raising his own prices because clients took them more seriously that way….. and then turned right around and asked me to DROP my price by $5/hour. Unbelievable! (no i didn’t drop my prices, and that job only lasted a month or so)
soooooooooo oh yeah i hear ya
Stick to your guns. She’s trying to get you volunteer a huge amount of time and effort. That’s not fair to you.
When someone asks you to make something for them and doesn’t ask about the price, they’re probably willing to pay anything for it, just so long as it’s hand made by you. In that case, immediately bring up the price for materials and labor. And, as Nobilis says, don’t forget the cost for you to come out of retirement.
Once you quote the price, never go back. Either she takes it or she doesn’t.
Don’t mistake this for setting a high price just so someone says “no”. I’ve done that before and regretted doing the work. Some people aren’t worth any amount of money to work for/with. Only do this if you want the work.
Hand made clothing costs big bucks. If she want’s cheap, send her to a discount store. If she wants hand made, charge the right price, but only if you want to do the work at all.
-Paul
Kamikat,
Repeat after me: “No, thank you. I am not accepting commission work at this time.”
Otherwise, develop a pricing schedule. Put Consultation Fee at the top. And do not feel obligated to accept work that you have been paid to consult on. Especially not if the budget fails to meet your pricing schedule.
You don’t have to provide any reason for turning down her request but you should attempt to remain polite since she is your sister’s friend and (I assume) a human being. Also, you don’t need to point out pricing issues or discrepancies or offer advice on where to find a wedding dress within her budget unless you decide to Consult for her. Your time and expertise are valuable.
If she persists in not getting the message, you need to talk to your sister. Your sister should be YOUR advocate in this situation and should explain your position to her friend.
Best of luck!
M
If she is having trouble understanding that the cost would be to high, take her to the fabric store with you and let her see the price of the material and the notions for herself, if that in itself doesn’t make her understand why it would cost her more to have you make it, then add your labor to that for a total price of…? Now take her to the wedding dress store and show her the dress she is wanting and how much cheaper it will be to purchase it off the rack.
The fabric manufacturers are charging as much for the material as you can buy it off the rack so where do people think they can save money by sewing it themselves. I know I have tried and it always more expensive for me to make it myself these days. Back when I first started sewing it was cheaper, but not now,
Good luck with your challenge.
Ann
I agree with the others my daughter sews scrub tops to pay for her design classes she is in a fashion school and most people have the thought that if she makes it it will be cheaper…. but it isn’t if you want quality fabric. And others will see her work and say oh that is so nice but I can go to walmart and get a top for 15 dollars… can’t you charge less?..She generally tells them to go buy all the fabric notions and the pattern they want and she will do it for ten dollars a top once they go shopping they generally agree to her prices! Not that this even comes close to making a wedding dress just stating that people don’t think of the value of the time and creativeness involved in sewing.
I had the same problem when I used to make ballet tutus for young children. Parents did not want to pay the cost as children only wear them about 4 or 5 times per year for competitions festivals etc. however, they want them to be the best fitting and looking tutu on the stage. My Husband stopped me from making tutus and costumes as I did not make any money and was always working to deadlines that were diffficult to keep. I love sewing and used to get a lot of pleasure from making little girls look wonderful on stage and always had good comments from the judges on my work. It is such a shame that people cannot appreciate good workmanship. I still wish I was sewing for a living so if anyone out there has any answers for me i would appreciate them
I couldn’t agree more regarding people’s attitudes. I do wedding gowns, mother’s dresses, etc. and am considering going another route. People want “champagne” at a “beer price”. Also, they do not recognize or appreciate good workmanship. I got chided the other day for adding a handmade thread “eye” instead of using the store-bought metal eye that comes with the hook. The woman thought it was a flaw.
One young lady brought her future mother-in-law with her today to “inspect” my work before taking her wedding gown and bridesmaid’s dresses home. The woman went over every seam, hook and eye and zipper with a fine toothed comb. The bride-to-be said she wanted to make sure they were perfect. I was wondering why the mother-in-law didn’t just make everything in the first place.
I take pride in my work and love sewing, using fine fabrics and making beautiful gowns but it is so disheartening when people don’t respect the work involved. I guess it’s like that for most handcrafts these days.
Thanks, had to get that off my chest. Now I feel better.