Maybe it’s the upcoming birthday, maybe it’s because my best friend is graduating from law school, but today, I feel like “just a mom”. Normally, I feel good about what I do, but as I enter my middle thirties, I wonder if this is what’s in store for me for the next 15-20 years. I’ve never really felt that motherhood was my calling, as some of my contemporaries do. While being a stay-at-home mom is best for kids, I’ve always thought of my role as temporary and that at some point, I’d get back to my “real life”. What is that “real life”, I don’t know. My misspent youth has left be little prepared for anything other than being a stay-at-home mom. At one time, I thought I had a career, but working in a high-end salon is a young girl’s job. I am no longer fashionable enough for that. Everyone around me seems to have hopes,dreams, lofty goals . My goals tend to be focused on clean laundry. Every so often, I toss around the idea of going to school, but in the end, it never happens. I’ve tossed around the idea of starting a home business, but in the end, it never happens. I’ve tossed around the idea of going back to work, but in the end, it never happens. All of that is risky. Being home is safe.
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Hi!
I know how you feel. My kids are now 16 and 17 and I am in my ‘upper 40’s.’ I tossed around the going back to school thing about 5 years ago, but I never did it. Now the kids are older and I am not needed quite as much as I once was. I think that ‘real life’ is where you are called to be at a specific time in your life. My role as a SAHM/homeschoolmom has changed and I recently went ‘back to’ work with my husband. It has been about two months now and the change is still driving me batty! I enjoy your blog!
I’m sure it will take time to get used to the change. Thanks for stopping by!
Part of it is mourning for who you feel you “should” be. But you are who you are, and awesome!
Perhaps this is the time of your life to dream dreams and let them be dreams.
My oldest graduated this summer after 13 years of homeschool. I have two more at home, but I am starting to think seriously about what I want to do “when I grow up.”
I do have a career to fall back on–I was a school teacher. In order to teach again, I’ll need to take some classes and get re-certified. Some days I’m excited about heading out to school again, but other days I think I only want to stay at home. I think I’ll know what I need to do when the time comes.
Transitions. Not always easy.
Jean (who found you through Charming the Birds