What are you going to do?

Now that kindergarten for the little one is imminent, I have gotten this question a lot recently. Part of me is offended, as if being a mom isn’t enough. On the other hand, part of me is concerned that with all that time alone, I will get bored and depressed. Yes, there will be enough to do around the house to keep me busy, but I can see where it would be isolating to stay home and work on the house all day. I’ve tossed around a couple idea, all involving going back to school. This has me a bit nervous. I was NOT a good student in high school and I’ve attempted to go to community college a couple times in the past. Both times ended up in failure, although there were extenuating circumstances. The first time, my stepmother was going through chemo and I skipped alot of classes to help take care of her. The second time, I got pregnant with the little one. I was taking art classes and the smell of the chemicals bothered my morning sickness. Eventhough they were reasonable reasons for not succeeding, those attempts hang over my head. I guess at this point, I’m afraid of failure. If I don’t try, I won’t have the chance to fail. It would be pretty easy for me to go back to cutting hair or even a basic retail job. Would that be fulfilling? Would it even be worth my time and the effort needed by the family to adapt to a new schedule? Probably not. Several more experienced moms have suggested that I wait a year before jumping into things like work or college, that the time is needed to help the little one adapt to all day school and to help me adapt to no longer being the mom to young, preschool children. That sounds like a good idea.